Never extraordinary enough

Posted by on March 14, 2014 in Depression, Stress, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Never extraordinary enough

 

We place ourselves on hold until we do something wonderful.  We do it because we are chasing life instead of living it. Until that happens we are living on potential and living as if we were constantly operating on default.  I will be enough when I make enough money, when I have a relationship when I am in school etc.

When I was younger I calmed my anxiety down by assuring myself that I had potential and one day someday the world would know my glory.  I hit a crisis when I turned twenty five and decided I had turned a quarter of a century old and what had I accomplished.  It wasn’t funny at the time; thank god it’s funny now. We want to be extraordinary so badly that we miss the ordinary things in life.

Walking around and not being enough is soul numbing.  When you do it long enough you slip into a field of numbing nothingness or the other extreme a constant clamor and whirling from one focus point to another  This judging leads to depression and anxiety  In other words you disengage even though your mind is filled with what you imagine other people have. You think you are relentlessly part of the world when you have disengaged from it.

Our culture believes that not only are resources limited but that there isn’t enough to go around.  And the only way you can get some is by competing and aggressing.  There isn’t enough money, enough love, enough space enough good people.  You get the gist of the whine.  But what if it weren’t true?

Here’s the Catch 22 let’s say you are extraordinary in every way   you will ultimately distance yourself from the people you want to connect to. It’s very hard to get close to a shooting star. This takes people into a world of grandiosity, entitlement and admiration questing.   You want people’s admiration instead of their warmth.  And if you go too far you lose touch with friendship and warmth, you know the ordinary things.

What would happen in the world if we decided there was enough?   It is just a decision isn’t it? Just like the one you made when you agreed with our culture that says we live in scarcity.  Could you do it?  First you would have to deal with the scream inside your head telling you that this is foolish. Would you be brave enough to try for one day to move about your world believing there is enough.

The world actually is yours.  It is yours because of your ability to perceive it and interpret it.  And that is your free will, your choice of how you see your world.  The way you see it is different than the way I do.  This means I have my own world as well.  So isn’t that enough?  You own a whole wide world by virtue of being born

What would we create if we believed that we had unlimited resources.  If we took out the edgy competitiveness what would the earth be like? The challenge is can you live in the opposite direction of what society is telling you to do?  Because let’s face there isn’t enough money, love work   Or is there?

 

 

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