Undead Phone Heads
There is an epidemic in this country and it is ruining lives.It causes depression, anxiety and loneliness. It’s your phone. That obsessive item that never leaves your hand and more importantly your mind. But there is a way out of the nightmare.
First let’s check if your one of the undead. You see them everywhere bent over their phones. They appear in fetal position in the subways, they crash into you on the sidewalk and into each other. They never look up to apologize or acknowledge the living in any way.
They get panic attacks if you don’t text them back. They break out into cold clammy sweats if they cannot find their phone. The world crashes down around their heads if their battery is dead. Are you one of them?
There is a way out you need a phone intervention, Are you ready?
It’s Magic
First you must notice how bad the problem is. Go get a tiny memo pad. The type you can put in your pocket or pocketbook. Every time you use your phone use your memo pad put the date, time and a check mark. Keep monitoring You will notice the more you monitor you will check the phone less
Now look at who you are. What are you doing and/or where are you that you are getting that nervous twitch to grab a hold of that phone. When do you get on the phone the most? The morning, afternoon or evening? What is your stress level like? What else can you do to distract yourself? Are you using the phone to avoid something? There is a better way to handle it notice what you do. You are the most important thing in your life. Are you paying attention?
Sensory extinction.
Choose certain times when you purposefully turn your phone off (oh the Harrra). Do not try to go cold turkey. You will only go back to the phone. This must be done incrementally. I told this to a real-estate broker and for 20 minutes a day he went to the park, ate lunch and there was no phone. He said at first it was anxiety provoking. But soon he began to enjoy the park and gave his mind a brief break. He was less angry and became more focused
Reward Stimulation
There will be no punishments but there will be rewards. You decide what it is. You get the reward when you can turn the phone off for a predetermined amount of time. And don’t cheat! You don’t get the reward if you sort of turn the phone off. You need to notice you do not have to be plugged in 24/7.
What if this is work related? There is a time and place for everything. Do you really want an isolated life where you are just a work automaton? You are not more responsible when you are frantically checking your phone.
Have you noticed that it is affecting you socially? Is it fun going on dates, meeting with friends and pulling out your phone and ignoring them? Would you want to hang out with you? I know its scary out there but being alert and present is so much better.
These three suggestions are the beginning. Very often people begin to notice they want to make changes in their lives that are even bigger once they see what is causing their stress. Grabbing a phone can be when you don’t know what else to do. If you want to look at these changes call me (yes I know I just told you to use the phone)