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The just not good enough syndrome- how to become an optimist
You look at your life and you are dissatisfied. You are not where you want to be. And you want to know how to change it. There are two things in play here and making changes in these two areas will move you and change your circumstances. The way you think and your position in […]
read moreWhy you should never try to change a man
There is a myth in our culture that needs to be exposed. I have seen many couples in couple’s therapy and there is this running notion that a lot of women have that they are there to improve or change their men. And the tool most often utilized is nagging! Women nag because they lose […]
read moreCBS’s Marriage Sabbaticals should be called what they are – a separation
Talk about putting lipstick on a pig! CBS recently aired Love on the Rocks? Some Couples Solve Problems With ‘Marriage Sabbaticals’ where couples take a break from each other for three months and live like their single. I couldn’t disagree more with this philosophy.of couples counseling. Avoiding a problem doesn’t make it go away. Especially during […]
read moreWhat Couples Counseling isn’t
I just got a phone call that let me know that there is confusion over what Couples Counseling is or what it is for. He asked if I could see him that day or the next morning. I was booked for that time but I offered to see the couple in two days. And he […]
read moreYour word of honor, is it really?
It became an ethical question that I had to answer. My lover just came out of the dorm. I was 18 and my first lover was coming out of the dorm. He didn’t see me but I saw him. And I remembered how over the weekend he handed me a shirt and said “you left […]
read moreConfessions of a psychotherapist about to be married
I am getting married in three weeks. And this has been an unexpected roller coaster. I thought I would have it all together. I am 55 years old and I don’t remember the last time I blushed. I have happily lived with my fiancé for 7 years. We know like and love each other so […]
read moreYou have to keep house like Martha Stewart, parent like Donna Reed, work like Sheryl Sandberg, and look like Jennifer Anniston
We do not value our families as much as we value prestige and money. In other words the opinion of others is more important than asking ourselves what we want When a woman starts thinking about having children, Sheryl Sandberg said, “she doesn’t raise her hand anymore … She starts leaning back.” So how bad […]
read moreGetting Unstuck
When I was younger and competing to get into schools and then competing to stay in them I thought there would be a moment when I had arrived when It happened. I wasn’t quite certain what it was but what it would mean is that everything would become effortless. I think you see the handwriting […]
read moreAgreeing when I don’t mean it
When I do this I am not thinking. I don’t mean I am not thinking clearly or I am confused. I mean other than an actual rush going through my body and a sinking feeling that is the only thing that happens to me. It’s like I am jammed up and I just can’t say […]
read moreNever extraordinary enough
We place ourselves on hold until we do something wonderful. We do it because we are chasing life instead of living it. Until that happens we are living on potential and living as if we were constantly operating on default. I will be enough when I make enough money, when I have a relationship […]
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