The just not good enough syndrome- how to become an optimist

The just not good enough syndrome- how to become an optimist

You look at your life and you are dissatisfied. You are not where you want to be. And you want to know how to change it. There are two things in play here and making changes in these two areas will move you and change your circumstances. The way you think and your position in your social and work sphere. There is an old saying that says “wherever you go there you are.” You take you everywhere you go and one of the most important things to...

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You have to keep house like Martha Stewart, parent like Donna Reed, work like Sheryl Sandberg, and look like Jennifer Anniston

You have to keep house like Martha Stewart, parent like Donna Reed, work like Sheryl Sandberg, and look like Jennifer Anniston

We do not value our families as much as we value prestige and money.  In other words the opinion of others is more important than asking ourselves what we want  When a woman starts thinking about having children, Sheryl Sandberg said, “she doesn’t raise her hand anymore … She starts leaning back.”  So how bad would laid back be?  It sounds like a criticism to think about children. That by not raising our hand we are doing something wrong! What...

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Getting Unstuck

Getting Unstuck

When I was younger and competing to get into schools and then competing to stay in them I thought there would be a moment when I had arrived when It happened. I wasn’t quite certain what it was but what it would mean is that everything would become effortless. I think you see the handwriting on the wall faster than I did. When I proved myself I had just thrown myself in a bigger pond and the cycle began again. But what happens over time is that...

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Agreeing when I don’t mean it

Agreeing when I don’t mean it

When I do this I am not thinking.  I don’t mean I am not thinking clearly or I am confused.  I mean other than an actual rush going through my body and a sinking feeling that is the only thing that happens to me. It’s like I am jammed up and I just can’t say no when I want to.  That is what a client told me have you ever felt this way?  It is what anxiety is.  Most people try to think their way out of this. Since my client noticed he wasn’t...

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Never extraordinary enough

Never extraordinary enough

  We place ourselves on hold until we do something wonderful.  We do it because we are chasing life instead of living it. Until that happens we are living on potential and living as if we were constantly operating on default.  I will be enough when I make enough money, when I have a relationship when I am in school etc. When I was younger I calmed my anxiety down by assuring myself that I had potential and one day someday the world would know...

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I’m finding myself have you seen me?

I’m finding myself have you seen me?

Having it all is a useless idea frantic enthusiasm and over-hyping who you are is the new way of being.  I am annoyed at websites promising to give you your every heart’s desire.  No one has figured out how to do that and the hubris that goes into that promise is ridiculous. Sit emptor caveat. You cannot have it all because you will always think of something new to add to the list.  All is not a finite number in this case...

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