Is this something that you believe in? That when you meet them there will be an instant recognition and a knowing, you will see them standing there and you will know and so will they that you are the one. Do I believe in this well no, but it happened to me so I should or did it? I had gone the Match.com route and was heading toward the restaurant to meet some one with a really terrible picture. In fact that was half the reason I picked him. I...

So every year (almost) I sit down and consider making New Years Resolutions. I don’t write them down because I don’t want even paper to bear witness to the lies I am about to tell. I know the point is to improve you but first I have to get over that awful feeling that something must be done in other words change. And then there is the guilt and overwhelm when you notice you are not getting the job done. Change is one of the things that I wish I...

How do you deal with the Holidays? It’s that special time of year where you should feel ……and you should have….. You get to make the list I should feel happy I should feel joy, I should have more money for a better gift ….And then you are in a room where frankly you’re rubbing elbows with people you have avoided all year. You avoid them because they ask you. Why aren’t you married, when are you having children and then what do you do for a...

When I am doing couples counseling or talking to single people who are dating an idea comes up repetitively. Each partner wants to find their soul mate. And when they find that person it will be electric! Our society has created an illusion of an instant sense of knowing. I will know when I see them. A soul mate will fill all your desires and instantly know what you need (if they really love you) its chemistry if it’s real it will just be there...

“then you shouldn’t talk, said the Hatter.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Part II The other side is when you’re thinking clearly. It’s when you can take any situation and come up with several options to deal with it. If you can do that you are being flexible in your thinking and creative. We often trip ourselves up because we decide there’s only one way to do something or only one perspective. When you are stuck in being...