When I was younger and competing to get into schools and then competing to stay in them I thought there would be a moment when I had arrived when It happened. I wasn’t quite certain what it was but what it would mean is that everything would become effortless. I think you see the handwriting on the wall faster than I did. When I proved myself I had just thrown myself in a bigger pond and the cycle began again. But what happens over time is that...
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When I do this I am not thinking. I don’t mean I am not thinking clearly or I am confused. I mean other than an actual rush going through my body and a sinking feeling that is the only thing that happens to me. It’s like I am jammed up and I just can’t say no when I want to. That is what a client told me have you ever felt this way? It is what anxiety is. Most people try to think their way out of this. Since my client noticed he wasn’t...
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Having it all is a useless idea frantic enthusiasm and over-hyping who you are is the new way of being. I am annoyed at websites promising to give you your every heart’s desire. No one has figured out how to do that and the hubris that goes into that promise is ridiculous. Sit emptor caveat. You cannot have it all because you will always think of something new to add to the list. All is not a finite number in this case...
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There has always been a debate of which comes first having an emotion or a thought. Which one happens first? I vote for the feeling. If I am walking home late at night and I sense someone is coming up behind me very quickly my heart goes double time and I feel startled out of whatever thoughts I had and a little apprehensive (I live in NYC). Then a thought comes up like why are they increasing speed and all that? That’s the beginning...
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What job would give you goose bumps in the morning? In your mind’s eye what is something that you are willing to go to hell and back for? It is that thing that you dismiss as unpractical. That thing that would give you purpose and joy! What thing creates a longing that sometimes hurts when you think of it? That one – that crazy stupid red carpet dream Remember this is your dream and no one else. Don’t try to justify...
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For many it becomes a lifestyle. I recently sat with a client who insisted her ability to have a social life and be a professional in her field was completely reliant on looking like she had it all together. The fake it till you make “syndrome.” But the problem with that is after a while you feel like an imposter, because deep down you are waiting to get caught. You are waiting for the world to notice that you aren’t who you say are. So,...
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